Uncouth PerspectivesNot on the rug, man.

Movie theaters that insist on overselling tickets rather annoy me.

People who theater-hop and do not have a ticket for the show rather annoy me (if you do not like the prices or feel it is unfair to pay that much for only one movie, Don’t go. Don’t pay. Don’t waste my time.). When I go to the theater, if I pay (and, in this case, pay $8.50 a ticket I might add!) for a seat, I expect to at least have a seat.

I went and saw a movie this evening and found that, for the second time, this is not guaranteed. I got into the actual theater just as the previews started. And there was not a seat to be had. So my friend and I decided to sit on the stairs, as I was not about to stand through a movie nor not watch it (I cannot stand still for long periods of time. I have bad ankles and it is physically uncomfortable and sometimes painful.. not to mention I paid for a seat.)

And, of course, as the movie was playing a security guard came and told us to move. When presented with the situation of no seats, he basically shrugged us off and told us to stand.

I am again perturbed. I could have at this point ranted and raved and gotten a manager. Unfortunately, I actually wanted to watch the movie that I just paid for. I also wanted to enjoy it. My thoughts are that the security guard, when presented with this, should have done something (i.e. get a manager, or find out if people snuck in, or find out if they oversold.. something!)

For the theater-Pay more attention. Sell the correct number of tickets (I know they don’t!). Also, watch your theaters to ensure that you do not have people standing. Maybe even do a little customer service; with the prices we pay to see a movie, I think it would be nice to be treated even just like a person.

For theater-hoppers-If you have a true complain about the system, throwing a monkey wrench in does not solve anything. Aim for a solution. Otherwise, you are just adding to the problem and most likely ruining someone else’s experience. For those who do it for other reasons (just to do it), ever wonder what some of the reasons why these damn prices keep going up? Part of it is people sneaking into the shows.

I rarely go to movie theaters. When I do, however, I would like to be able to sit and enjoy the movie. I would like to actually get what I am paying for. And I think everyone else does too.

I’d be me…

I love the fascination that some people have with asking questions that have no bearing in reality to delve into who a person is. Instead of using communication and finding out who a person really is, what they believe in, there are people who will turn to these questions–questions that do not truly give you an insight to who this person is.

When we ask questions, they should be based in reality. There should be a clear objective. I don’t want to know what kind of tree someone would be (nor do I want to think about what kind I would be… I’m not a tree nor will I be one, so it’s just a waste of my time.). I want to know what someone thinks morality is. I don’t want to know what someone would think if they were a rock (You got me.. someone actually asked me that), I want to know their views on sex.

It is more important to me to find out the core of a person’s beliefs and values (and, oh my, maybe even learn something in the process about myself and my beliefs) than ask nonsensical questions that provide us with no real information and no real understanding of ourselves, our world, and our reality.

Familiar words?

Not for a many.

There is a hatred of these words in out culture. There is almost a need to be angry or upset about something. And if there is nothing to be upset about, then be upset because there is nothing to be upset about!

I was having trouble thinking of a rant this evening and I realized I was just sort of content. My one real goal is to get into my warm bed and snuggle with my pillows. True, I have to write this rant. I have a list of things weighing on me to do tonight and tomorrow morning. And a lot of things weighing on my mind. But, I am content. I just want to fall asleep and dream of actually snuggling with a person. And I found it hard to sit down and write a rant.

And then it came to me in a conversation I was having. I also thought back to a conversation I had earlier in the day with one of my roommates about people who are never happy.

They always find something to complain about. Then they always find someone else to try and fix the problem. Then they can complain that the problem is not getting fixed. And then they can complain that the person who is trying to fix it in useless. It’s all about complaining.

It’s all about the focus on the problem and not the solution. If you are always looking at the problem, that is all you will see. Trying orienting yourself towards the solution and you will find life worth living. There is always an option, always a path to take.

In short, content is not bad. Stagnation is bad. Lack of growth is not good. Being happy with things is good.

Let yourself relax once in a while…

For me, I’m going to get into my warm bed with big pillows and dream of snuggling…

Hugging. Touching. Snuggling. Feeling. There are very few physical pleasures which can be more rewarding or satisfying.

It is sad for me to think that there a number of people who cannot enjoy it the way I do. In every little gesture, it can be present. In every true friend relationship it can be there. Have you ever sat with a dear friend at a close range for hours and talked? Nothing but just sat close and enjoyed the presence of another person? It is truly an amazing thing.

It can be more powerful than any sexual intercourse type act. Sex is a byproduct of a mental relationship. Sex is the physical gesture and affirmation of love. And so is kissing. And so is hugging. And so is touching. We need touch. We love touch.

I need touch. I love touch.

Back to that sex thing. People use sex as a way to make up for the lack of a mental relationship or closeness instead of looking at it like it really is–something the is not only beautiful and majestic, but something to physically enact the mental relationship. That’s why we call it love making. And it is not as important or as powerful as true hug. A true foot massage. A true snuggle and falling asleep. I think there is nothing I like more with a partner (or friend/etc) than to fall asleep together… or maybe waking up together.

Your family, your friends, your lovers all need your touch. And you need theirs. Enjoy who they are, the person, the beliefs and values. And enjoy their presence. Rub each other’s backs. Hold hands. Just sit close and talk. Fall asleep together.

In all of your relationships, whatever you do, never let go.

Be honest.  Say what you feel.  Do not hold back.

Never open. Never true. Never feeling.

When are we going to stop? Why is this even necessary?

Stop.

Let’s start over.

How about a compliment? How about trying to say what you really mean?

“You know, that really doesn’t suit you.”

“You are a really good person…”

“I’m really infatuated with you.”

But, alas, no. We fail to tell the people who we care about the most what we really feel. Or for that matter, people we hardly know. I was talking with Seana again last night. We were talking about friendship and how a true friend will tell you when some type of clothing does not look good on you. And vice versa.

And never a compliment for people. We expect good and anticipate the worst. Unless something is fantastic, we never say so. If something is good, or even great, we just go “oh, okay, that is how it is supposed to be.” Not a “hey, that’s really cool” or “good job!” or “you look great.”

And, forget talking about relationships. So many people get infatuated (and let’s call it what it really is…not love or whatever) with a lot of people, but never say anything. They sit, paralyzed in fear, suspense, self hate, or even bound by rules, and never say anything. They sit and seethe with animosity towards themselves and others… and are never happy. What about fear of rejection you ask me? Perhaps if you are infatuated with the wrong people, you need rejection. It might just put you on the right path.

It all comes down to a couple of things I harp about. You have to have self worth to be able to truly appreciate other people and what they have to offer.

You have to be able to communicate. Say what you want and maybe you will get it.

Under no circumstances take the SUV “offroad” or use it for any “sports” type use.

Be sure to never use your turn signals to make a lane change, and make them often.

The more sporadic and imprecise your driving, the more people will respect you. SUV’s are tough to drive after all.

It is mandatory that you use your cell phone as much as possible. The more dangerous the driving situation, the more important it is you keep yourself distracted. (If you don’t have a cell phone why are you driving an SUV?)

The larger the SUV, the more you need to park in those good spaces marked “Compact Only.” Try and take up two or three if you can, you’re important.

I have hopefully done three things here. 1) Properly demonstrated the use of sarcasm. 2) Sent a message of distaste for SUV’s or their drivers. 3) Gotten somebody killed because a person reading this actually believed me…

I like SUV’s. I really do. For offroading. For what they are designed for. I am bothered by the fact that the SUV has become the trendy Mini-Van. And they keep getting bigger. Do we need a car the size of a small house? (Unless you plan on using it as a house, NO!).

I, however, do not like most of the drivers. I am going to touch only slightly on driving in general, and how it actually does involve communication (Communication is not a lie), how we need to work together, how we do need to be careful, and how we all need to have the ability to drive.
The average SUV driver I have witnessed bears none of the characteristics.

I went to the mall today. My friend was driving, and we parked his little Honda into a compact space. I could barely get my door open. Wanna guess why? All the other SUV’s (Expeditions and Explorers in this case) that were parked there. In this strip of 10 spaces, there were only 7 cars parked with no more room to park. 5 of these cars were SUV’s. I will say no more.

I have lost count of the numerous times the SUV nearest me (they are ALWAYS there…) swerves for no reason. Is it that hard to drive in a straight line? (I guess when you car is bigger than the lane, it might be a problem…). Or lane changes. I watch those drivers. They don’t even look. Or use their turn signal.

Do you know what the turn signal does? It’s a little flashy light that signifies you want to turn. Signifies… Hmm. Sounds like communication. That’s bad stuff. Or, wait, no, that is what human relations is!? Communication! This is a simple example of how people fail to communication, or even want to communicate, with each other. And failed understanding of the system presented.

Anyways, back to SUV’s. I like them. I do. But, please, learn to drive and perhaps even get a car that you need and not one that just looks appealing.

I have a serious beef with road work.

I happen to pay money to my city, county, state, country, and government. I expect that at least I can drive on a smooth road. Why is this sooo hard?

I live in Huntington Beach, CA. Surf City. A large tourist city, especially down by Main street. Everybody comes to HB–locals, tourists, even national surf championships. And yet, our busiest area feels like your are off-roading. Potholes, cracks, gravel, the works.

And so, yesterday, I see some road work crews (of course not in downtown, but at least in high traffic areas, areas that I travel in a lot and started to notice how the terrain and changed) and I think,

“Great, smooth roads again!”

And later in the day I’m driving over large metal plates. WHY am I driving over large metal plates? Can’t we just fix the road? It will costs us more money to put the plates down, and then go back and take them back up and then fix the road. I’ve seen streets resurfaced before. It does not take THAT much time, THAT much traffic, or THAT much more money. I have seen more and more of these plates.. and they stay for a very long time. It’s a quick fix. It’s not a lasting solution. Eventually the road gets fixed, but until then, we play the bouncy-car game. These plates are not any better than the damned potholes, except that you are going up instead of down. In some areas, it feels like a roller coaster.

If I wanted to ride a roller coaster, there are a lot of amusement parks I could go to. Just fix my roads.

I am a person that many people confide in. I am the crying shoulder. I am the pillar of stability. I am the listening ear.

I hear a lot of problems and I hear a lot of very, very sad stories. But, I also help people. Listening is a very powerful tool because talking is a very powerful tool. More over, releasing pent up energies and emotions is a powerful tool, and that is why being able to listen is important. Being able to be the focus of that released energy.

I have come to notice a pattern, though, in many of the self perceptions I hear. First, most (if not almost all?) of the people I have listened and talked to tell me of low self worth and great self hate/resentment.

When I query this further, I get a pattern of very typical thoughts. Almost always first is physical appearance. And then, generally, acceptance by society. (The need to be social, the need for attention, the need for validation). And then comes issues about the person’s owns ability, their abilities compared to others. And then things they would like to do, but will not let themselves. Or things they do but they do not feel good about doing. And more…

And I had a thought tonight. I believe that this downward, black spiral of self hate and doubt that people put themselves through is very indicative of the application of our societies philosophy’s and ideals put to use. We do not preach self worth, we preach self doubt and loathing (In fact, we preach, and that may be a problem in and of itself). We do not teach our children about the world, we attempt to close them off from it and hope they do not find it (and, more likely that not, it finds them and they are not ready for it). We do not teach love, we teach unreachable ideals of a mystic force and a white wedding. We try to hide and cover our bodies, afraid as to what we may discover (that we like them?)

Why is everything so bad? Why do people rob from each other? Why do people kill each other? Why is economy suffering? How could our choices for president be Bush and Gore? And on and on… Because we allowed it. We took accountability, accountability of our own actions, and threw it out the door. We have taken a hodge-podge of ideas and beliefs and made a bastardized system of thought that only destroys. It only brings people. We have the framework for a glorious situation. Freedom! Personal gain! Rights!

And we have covered it with the same backwards and oppressive measures that have held humanity down throughout the centuries.

I hate conformity for conformity’s sake.
I hate rebellion for rebellion’s sake.
I hate hate for hate’s sake.
I hate consumption for consumption’s sake.

And…
I hate freedom for freedom’s sake.
Freedom is a volitional act–it only happens if you let it.

Today I was discussing validation with a new friend.

I was talking with her about how people do not validate each other enough. And how they do not validate themselves. I got into how women tend to be viewed negatively and how they view themselves as bad. They view their bodies as bad. And how wrong this is. When had just reached the topic of menstruation and how it is NOT a bad thing (if it wasn’t natural, if your body was not meant to do it… guess what? It wouldn’t!) and this guy turned to us and said:

“My philosophy is this–if it bleeds for more than two days and lives, I don’t trust it.”

Needless to say, I bristle at this comment (when does something not get my blood flowing?). First, I think I must sum it all up with a retort later made by Jeff,

“You mean like Christ?”

Yup. We are going to burn in hell for that one.

Anyways, yes this upsets me! What does bleeding (Or more importantly, the natural process’ of the vagina and body) have to do with TRUST?! Nothing. And, hey, guess what, we all do bleed. It is just blood. It is just, oh, natural. When will people get off the loathing couch and start to love themselves?

Hey, women, I am very glad to say that your vagina does not make you bad. It also does not make you dirty. It actually is quite a beautiful thing, just as the penis is. Just as the thumb is. Just as the brain is. Just as humans, life, whatever, is! Do not hold yourself or anyone down for something that is wonderful!

In fact, run as fast and furious with it as you can.

She was telling me about how her son, age 6, got in trouble at school for saying the phrase “Oh my god.”

Yes, this does bother me. What is funny is her son was saying it as an exclamation, not as a praise. He still got in trouble for it. The school has a “no tolerance” policy on religion. No prayers. No religion. No pledge of allegiance. No god. No simple exclamations.

As you probably know, I do not support or follow any religion. (If you didn’t, now you know. You should probably go and actually read my quotes.) In schools, it is not right to force prayer, as some schools do. Schools should be a place of learning, a place of expanding knowledge. By forcing prayer, you are forcing a belief that someone has the choice to make.

Conversely, you cannot tell someone to not believe, mention, or have faith in a god or a religion. This is not an issue you can force. This is an issue decided by an individual, by using their conceptualization faculties, by using their reason, by using their mind. If they want to believe in a god, they are free to (as long as that belief does not hinder someone else’s right to pursue happiness and their own beliefs).

One of the beautiful things about being human, about having this ability to conceptualize abstract concepts is the ability to grow and learn with each other. We can talk, debate, and argue with each other and we are always growing. We are always teaching. We are always learning. I am very upset to think that either of these infringements on the human mind are allowed. I do not want anyone forced to pray to a god of someone else’s choice. I also do not want anyone forced to hold down and hide their belief. It is the same thing.

What really blows my mind about the situation I mentioned is that this was an exclamation! It was not a reference to a god or a religion! I’m sorry, I say “Oh my god” all the time. This phrase has proliferated our slang and this case shows what the thinking of limiting the visibility of a thought or an idea can cause. It can cause people to be held down and censored. So now these kids cannot even say the word “god.” Should they also not be allowed to say the word “I” because there are religions where the self is worshipped? Maybe even stop letting them talk about nature, because that is worshipped. Where does it stop?

This is just another example of the quick fix mentality I harp about. Our society does not always works towards lasting solutions. We have a tendency to go for the quick fix. Instead of dealing with the issue of religion and philosophy and science in schools, we say “just don’t talk about it.” That is the WORST thing we can do. When people can stop closing their minds, closing their reason, closing their sight, we have a hope of actually growing up. Right now, we have the mental orientation of a rebellious teenager, running away from their problems thinking they know it all. It’s time to grow up.