Uncouth PerspectivesNot on the rug, man.

I saw three teenage girls looking at the shirts that have sayings (“Can’t sleep, the clowns will eat me” “I’m no longer a danger to society” “I’m lost. Please take me home with you?” etc.). Here is the disturbing part. They had trouble reading them. Allow me to try to demonstrate:

“I’m… uh… no… uh… longer a… uhm… dang…er … uh… to… uh.. soci…ety…”
(pause while they think about it)
“Oh.. haha!”

So I decided to sit and watch people come up and read the shirts. And I saw this again and again. People having trouble reading one sentence. I see it when I wear similar shirts or when I have people read what I’ve written. There is a serious problem with illiteracy. And it is not like I’m looking for people to read novels. One sentence is too much?! What the hell has happened to “education” and to standards; people cannot read anymore.

It makes me sick. I love to read, personally, but I do not expect everyone to be like me. However, I do expect that everyone should have access to an education that allows them to read one sentence… and cognate it at the same time. It’s pretty disgusting and disturbing to see this and I am just done. We need to stop playing reality and start living reality. I do not want people looking down on me for being “young” or being without a “degree” and yet I can walk mental circles around them.

Go and read something, it might be good for your mind.

Tonight, my friend said to me:

“I have broken three hearts in the last couple of weeks…”

I really want to look at this. I also really want to briefly give you a glimpse into my views on love and relationships.

So, my first argument is that to have a “broken heart,” you must love. The term broken heart, to me, refers to someone who really loves someone and is denied in some way by an action outside their volitional control. I.e. I would not have a broken heart if my actions were the direct and immediate cause of losing that love. A broken heart is not gained from a frivolous encounter(s) and it is not the feeling of rejection. Sorry, the feeling of rejection is simply the feeling of rejection. Call it by the right name.

Love, however, is not frivolous. It is not simple. It is not quick and immediate. I am going quote Ayn Rand for a good definition of love:

“I am referring here to romantic love, in the serious meaning of that term–as distinguished from the superficial infatuations of those whose sense of life is devoid of any consistent values, i.e., of any lasting emotions other than fear. Love is a response to values. It is with a person’s sense of life that one falls in love–with that essential sum, that fundamental stand or way of facing existence, which is the essence of a personality. One falls in love with the embodiment of the values that formed a person’s character, which are reflected in his widest goals or smallest gestures, which create the style of his soul–the individual style of a unique, unrepeatable, irreplaceable consciousness. It is one’s own basic values in the person of another. It is not a matter of professed convictions (though these are not irrelevant); it is a matter of much more profound, conscious, and subconscious harmony.”
(Ayn Rand, Romantic Manifesto pg 40)

If you are in a situation where there must be a choice of who to love, then I must refer to another quote:

“The most exclusive form–romantive love–is not an issue of competition. If two men are in love with the same woman, what she feels for either of them is not determined by what she feels for the other and is not taken away from him. If she chooses one of them, the “loser” could not have had what the “winner” has earned.”
(Ayn Rand, The Virtue of Selfishness pg 65)

And so, why the initial quote bothers me is the way people go about their relationships and they way the feel bad (or get mad at themselves) for other people in an unjustified manner. In the situation I’m specifically talking about, there is no way it could be romantic love. It could be lust, it could be beginning desire, but there is no way an actual heart was broken. To feel pity and sorrow for what has happened is to not appreciate life to it’s fullest, especially your own. If they are hurt and depressed, it is due to rejection, or perhaps even worse, because they could not get the object they so lustfully desired after. In the end, look at what is really going on? Just because you were a catalyst for their emotions, are you going to give up yourself for someone else, even in the act of pity? Feel sorrow and pity for those who deserve it, not because someone is experiencing irrational “love” divorced from any true values. Among people who “love” in this manner, there is really very little meaning to anything they feel.

And, since this has been a quote filled sessions, let me leave you with a famous line from The Fountainhead:

“To say “I love you” one must know first how to say the ‘I.’”

I have decided that people need to use their real names with emails where they are stating their views or their position on something. If you have something to say, say it! But I think that you should only say something that you do not have a problem with your name attached to. I don’t think nicknames do people justice. I think that people open up more when using these names, but that is a symptom. People need to stand up and besides their beliefs more.

I have a very particular writing style. To some people, this is very neat. It is enjoyable. To some people, it’s annoying because they just do not get what I am saying.

So, here is what you can expect. Something almost always sets me off. Some words or some ideas are a catalyst to other ideas or messages. So, when I am writing my rants, I will generally tell about a story about what set me off. A lot of times, what I am talking about has to do specifically with the situation or story. I’m using the story to springboard into a idea or into a message. I have no problem receiving criticism–but when it is criticism for the right thing. I tire of hearing people complaining about a story I used, when they have not actually read the rant. The only criticism I seem to receive (Yeah, I’m talking to all of you out there reading this right now!) is about my stories. I’m not here to tell stories, per se, I’m here to discuss society and the absurdity of life.

I am not trying to hurt anyone or attack anyone with these statements. Those of you who know me, know that I would confront you with something if it bothered me. If it ends up on the website (first, read the rant) and you have not heard anything from me about it, it probably means that I am not attacking you or insulting you. If you find something insulting, let me know, but trust me, there was no intent there.

My only intent is to do my part to make myself happy and show everyone else that it is possible.

This statement really struck me, and here is why. This was said with a little bit of humor, it was also said with a little bit of truth. It is also a poignant comment on our society and the way people communicate with their friends, or lack thereof.

Why do people have friendships if they do not really want to be friends? The meaningless relationships people have with each other today is reflected in the statement. The etiquette of our social relations is based on material and/or superficial ideas, not real true relationships. For the majority, communication is a lie. Why would someone even make the joke that because I listen (and I am a good listener), that I am a “psychologist.” When has it become that therapy is just an opportunity to get listened to and attain a little validation? When has that become okay? Why has that become okay?

Get into a friendship because it is fun. Get into a friendship because of shared beliefs and values. Get into a friendship to have someone to listen to you. Get into a friendship to have a buddy to cuddle with.

Try to have a real, touching relationship if you haven’t. It is part of the beauty of life. It is part of the beauty of being human. Stop playing games, stop hurting people, stop hurting yourself.

I am sick and tired of seeing pain, hurt, and broken relationships because people are being idiots. Because people do not want to stop and use their heads. Because people hate and judge before they know what is going on. Stop listening to gossip. Stop making pre-judgements.

Start looking, listening, communicating, and living.

Interesting, huh?

I kind of like it. It makes me look dead sexy.

I think…

Anyways, here’s the deal. The other day I went out to lunch with my good friend Bao and we were discussing myself and social normals.

“You never follow the social norms’…”

She tells me this. So, I stop and think. I think I follow the social norms. At least, I do what I want. I guess these are not the same thing, then, are they? I guess it’s hard to follow the social norm’s and do what is “socially acceptable” when you try to live a real life. Perhaps I should forsake my reason, discard my mind, destroy my heart, and wipe the polish off my toe nails. I’ll become a real fake person, just like everyone else. I’ll be accepted! And not accepted for who I am, but for how well I follow the plastic paradigm set before me. I love it.

I’ll do it today!

Just as soon as I figure out how to stop being a real person.

Alcohol is amazing to me, because people use alcohol as an excuse just as bad as Christian’s use Christ. I am not saying anything against drinking, per se, because I think there is a time and a place for most anything (if you want it), but it becomes a problem when it is: in excess, used as an excuse, or becomes something more than a moment enhancer. I only drink very, very rarely, personally. However, when people get drunk, suddenly everything is not their fault.

“Oh, I was drunk, that was the alcohol talking.”

Uhm, nope, sorry. No can do. YOU still said it. It is not as if by drinking the alcohol, you’ve invited some new temporary guest into your mind, and you get to take the night off. It is still you. Yeah, alcohol (depending on the amount you drank) will lower your inhibitions� but that is it. It is lowering you inhibitions (i.e. you are still doing things that you want to do!)

I’m tired of hearing excuses and I’m tired of hearing about lack of accountability. When you are drunk, you are doing things that you would “not normally do.” However, it is still you doing them. You are still accountable for your actions, because the alcohol does not give new ideas and new impressions into your mind and psyche.

In fact, it’s probably a really good idea to see what you do, what you say, and how you act when you are drunk. Because for most people, that is going to be one of the few times they get let their social inhibitions down and do what they want. And you might see inside to whom you really are. And if you don’t like it, you can always change it. And if you do like it, take it for all it’s worth.

I just got back from a 110 mile round trip drive in the rain.
I love driving in the rain.
I hate driving around other people in the rain.
It’s really amazing what a little bit of water can do to people’s ability to drive–or even live. For reference, I live in Southern California, where it does not rain that much. And when it does, it turns on the idiot switch. When it comes to driving, people either drive really slow or really fast. I find very little in between. And either way, everyone wants to be in the fast lane, but especially the slow ones. I don’t know how rain signals “drive 20 miles an hour in the fast lane,” but I am thinking of lowering my intelligence to see if I can get these magic signs or radio signals or whatever they are.

It is also funny to watch people try to avoid getting wet. Yeah, getting soaked to the bone sucks. However, that hardly happens here. We mainly get light to heavy drizzles.
Oh no! We’re only mainly made up of water–but don’t get any of it on you! You might melt!

COME ON! It’s only water. It is not going to hurt you. I’m not against covering up. I’m against people standing under awnings not moving to go to their car because it’s raining. Or people running like the fires of hell are on their step.
Perhaps if people appreciated the world they live in a little bit, they could appreciate the pleasure of a little rain.

The Bible has shaped and influenced a lot of American culture and society.

The stories can be shown to affect thoughts, actions, perceptions, and more in people around us. I find it interesting when I pick up a copy of Weekly World News (I love it!) and find an article entitled “Bad Girls of the Bible?” This article covers four “bad” girls:

Eve – Seduced by the Serpent and tempted Adam into eating the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.

Lot’s Wife – Turned and saw Sodom and Gamorrah destroyed.

Delilah – Prostitute and cut Samson’s hair.

Jezebel – Seduced Ahab, king of the Israelites, into worshipping Baal and Asherah.

I’m not going to get into what I think of these stories right now (I will definitely give you my thoughts on the story of Adam and Eve at some point!), but I will say that I find it bothersome that we have to point out the “bad” girls of the bible. What about the “bad” men? What about just the fact that there are bad people in the bible? It is not necessary to highlight how “bad” women are.

“But, women are vile creatures! They are temptresses! They play with your emotions! They are dirty, sexual creatures!”

The important thing here is to look at what is really going on. Stop worrying about someone else, and start worrying about yourself. If women are such dirty, sexual creatures, why do you have sex with them? (And why are you having sex in the first place? If these are your thoughts, you still need to grow up!) If they play with your emotions and are temptresses… just remember this, who let them? You happiness will start when you take some accountability for your actions and learn that there is only one person worth judging–yourself. Even if every woman was a “temptress” you would have to give your permission to be tempted, and more likely than not you are just as guilty of doing what you claim they are doing.

Editor’s Note:
Check out http://witcombe.sbc.edu/eve-women/1evewomen.html for some great background to the story of Eve!

The actions people do have so little forethought and so little reason to them, I often wonder why anyone even bothers.

Today, I was waiting at a left turn light. I was behind about six cars and there were about four behind me. The light turned green, and the front car did not move. We waited. He did not go. We still waited. The light turned red. I think one person honked.

I was a little bothered by the fact that we did not get to go, but, hey, whatever. I figured that if on the next light the person did not go, I could get out of the turn lane and do a series of other turns to get to my destination. A little time lost, but no harm done right?

Not to the person in front of me. This guy yelled and screamed and bounced up and down in his car, arms waiving. The woman in the car with him sat, unmoving. He waved his arm out the window, bellowing something that I do not think anyone understood. Personally, I did not even try.

He did this the entire time we sat there, which was like 6 or 7 minutes. His yelling was much more frustrating than the fact that we all missed the light. Just sitting there, watching him, got my blood boiling. Not because the front car had not gone, but because I had to sit and watch this man give himself a heart attack (maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow� but someday, and for the rest of his life�)

What point does yelling and screaming get you? Granted, there is a time and a place for anger. Anger can be a very powerful force and emotion and is necessary. However, this is not too often. And very rarely do you need to get so angry that your car is trying to imitate a pogo stick.

The anger this man presented did nothing for the situation, but cause aggravation. True, I think we all wanted to go, but we were not. Nothing was going to change that fact. If he wanted to make an immediate change, he could have pulled out and done the series of turns I mentioned. What he displayed is something I have raved about many times and will mention many more times. Individuality without accountability. This man got so upset because a road block was put in front of his path. And, you know what?
It happens.

Happiness is not determined by always getting to go on the green light.