Well, okay, I have a lot of problems.
But, I would like to highlight one thing that bothers me today. I have this little pamphlet sitting in front of me that is titled “How to Use a Condom.” I’d like to read you some of the directions.
If you use condoms the right way, they will work better.
You know–thanks. I would have never gotten that.
Put the condom on before your penis goes into your partner’s body.
THAT’S what I’ve been doing wrong?!
Okay, haha, so what is the point? The point is this: Why has our wisdom and common sense as a culture dropped so much that ON THE DIRECTIONS to something, it basically starts with “read the directions.” There are some things I think the user of a product should be accountable for. Yes, the manufacturer should have instructions. Yes, they should be detailed. They should not have to be written, however, with these idiotic observations. Let us stop and think for once and maybe we would not be wasting our time and money with unnecessary directions. We have these because people do not think, they get hurt, and then they sue (because they just CANNOT be wrong… and hey, why not get a quick buck, too?)… and we all pay for it. We are slowly but surely walking down a spiraled path into an intellectual nothing.
And, hey, the coffee’s hot, so don’t pour it in your lap.
Still don’t believe me? Here are some more that I received in an email. I can’t credit this, so if someone knows who to credit it to, please let me know.
On Sears hairdryer: “Do not use while sleeping.”
On a bag of Fritos: “You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.”
On a bar of Dial soap: “Directions: Use like regular soap.”
On some Swanson frozen dinners: “Serving suggestions: Defrost.”
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): “Do not turn upside down.”
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: “Product will be hot after heating.”
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: “Do not iron clothes on body.”
On Boot’s Children’s Cough Medicine: “Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.”
On Nytol Sleep Aid: “Warning: May cause drowsiness.”
On most brands of Christmas lights: “For indoor or outdoor use only.”
On a Japanese food processor: “Not to be used for the other use.”
On Sainsbury’s peanuts: “Warning: Contains nuts.”
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: “Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.”
On a child’s Superman costume: “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.”