“If I gave you the highest score, I couldn’t teach you that much…”
“You won’t get all high scores on this review, because if I did that, you would have nothing to work for–no growth.”
These are some quotes of things people have said to me. And some quotes of things I do not agree with.
There is a misconception about work, school, and involved goal setting. That you have to make it hard. That if you do something “the best,” you do not have anything to work for. This is not true.
When giving reviews, the manager will not score their employee as high as they should get, because the thought is that if the employee scores everything well, they will have nothing to grow towards, nothing to aim for.
Teachers will grade harder at first, and expect more, so that as a semester continues the student can really “push themselves.”
Parents will get insane expectations for their children, to always push and criticize them, because they want to keep up the pace.
I guess that shows you were ignorance gets you.
Now, I am not saying that we do not need to push ourselves and people. I am not saying that we do not need goals and things to work towards. What I am saying is that we should always be living in reality. If I have an employee who is just awesome and deserves a review that is outstanding, I will give them that. I am not going to put them down because they are good. If they are good, let’s celebrate that experience! Personally, I would always want a review that says outstanding. And, at what point does it stop? I mean, if you have a long time employee who is always growing and improving, how much and for how long do you hold them down? People do not learn by being lied to, which is what this really is. Tell people the truth. If they are doing an awesome job, tell them so. In fact, have them train every person they can in that area, and they will grow even more from it. The more you teach, the more you learn.
And this is the same for anyone in any situation like this. Students are there to learn, not to be herded. Children need to be given the straight facts. If people are told that they are outstanding, it will not hinder their ability to grow. Because, if they do not grow, they start to slip. And when they slip, then they can be shown.
That is where part of the faulty thinking is. When someone becomes responsible for someone else (manager, teacher, parent, etc), it is a constant job. You have to always be giving feedback. When something is done well, say so. When something is done poorly, say so. It’s as simple as that–talk, and they will listen. Listen yourself, and they will grow and support you. Teach, Learn, Live. That’s all I ask.