I often wonder why I brave the treck to the local establishment that shows moving pictures on the screen. Occasionally, on a rare day, I will find myself enthralled with the magic, the wonder, and the quiet of it all.
However, more often than not, I leave feeling that much more spite for the average movie go-er… do we dare even call them human, at times. And, if this is what humanity has succumb to, perhaps it is time that I take my pre-punched ticket stub and move on.
But, no! I must stop and try to vocalize the madness that I have experienced so that we learn, grow, love and be happy.
Or at least, get to watch a movie (if it’s worth watching) in peace.
Tonight, I trecked to see a new movie, popular with the youngsters. The movie itself shall be left unnamed, because I am not defaming the movie (as of yet), but merely the experience.
Let me see if I can try to break down my experience:
I am going to see a movie with my ex-girlfriend. We talk into the theatre. First, the task is to decide where to sit. Personally, I am here to see a movie, not to play guess which chair is good.
We find some seats. We sit. As the previews start, people continue to come in, with gasps and groans because there is little to no seating.. and it is hard to see. Oh, the misery! I apologize there were not signs posted that read:
“Get to the movie on time, or you may have to crawl through a darkend room to find a seat.
Yes, you will have to find your own seat.
Yes, it will be dark while the movie is playing.”
So, as it were, while the previews are playing (and TV ads, and newspaper ads, and popcorn ads, and Jeep ads, and …. half an hour later) you get the dregs shuffling in as the movie finally starts. As my exgirlfriend and I sit there, already a semi-uncomfortable experience, a couple–guy and girl–sit next to her. The girl turns and starts talking to the guy. I don’t think she ever stopped.
“Gasp!”
“Squeek!”
“What did he just say?!”
“Oh my!”
“What just happened!”
“Isn’t he cute?!”
Etc.
Then, an older man sit nexts to me. Which I have no problem with, I’m not in fear for my personal space by another movie go-er. Except. I think he misread the instrunctions for his cologne and translated “a splash” into “the entire bottle, for good measure.”
As the movie is just about to start, a couple of teenagers come in. They peer around in the dark. They continue to peer. Then one of them shouts for his friend, who yells back “here.” Everyone else takes this cue, and yells “here” as well. Yes, this was very humorous. Except, it kept going on. And, somehow, it gave everyone a license to talk. AS the movie was starting. So, as the credits are rolling, all I can hear is conversation. People talking, laughing, joking.
EXCUSE ME?!
If you wanted to talk… WHY DID YOU COME TO A THEATRE?
We sit and watch the movie. Conversations here, smells there, laughs at stupid jokes, and the whole deal. Then it’s time to leave.
Another great challenge.
You see, this marvelous thing happens. Aside from the already known difficulties of merging (yes, it starts with people and ends with cars), as soon as people exit a theatre, show, play, whatever, they immediatly stop. To talk. And thus everyone else leaving, as to kind of swerve around them, creating more merging situations. And then THEY stop and talk. And so on…
And that is just a trip to the movies.