I have also proclaimed many a times that people should not be looked down for claiming this feeling. I have also said that people should not whine, wallow, or whimper about it.
Let me try to clarify all of this for you. And, more than likely, myself.
When I say that I feel lonely, it is for a number of reasons. I think the foremost, however, is the feeling that I will always be lonely. The reason this stounds out is this: I do not mind not being in a relationship. I do not need a relationship or another person to make my life “worth living.” I am capable of being a human being without living through another person. However, you must also look at my views of relationships. Relationships, ANY relationship, is based off of beliefs and values and the mental connection between people. Having someone close to me is not a physical thing–it is a mental. The physical follows the mental.
I’ve looked at myself, often wondering “Why does it bother me that I am alone.” I have finally realized that it is not the fact that I am alone, it is the fact that I might always be alone. And that is the scary part. I have friends, yes. But it is an odd situation. (And, for those of you who do not think that friends can keep you from being lonely–you are mistaken. Take a better look at your friends or your relationships with them.) For me, my best friend, the person who truly knows me the most and I have an off and on relationship. We’ll go for months without speaking a word.. and then one day, one of us will call the other and we’ll start off like no time was wasted. We have a great relationship… but there are times when it is hard or impossible to count on the other person. I have some other close friends, but most of them are either deeply involved with sorting their life out, or busy living it. They have boyfriend or girlfriends, or are getting kicked out of their house, or have never grown from a break up, or many many other things. And we support each other, but I tend to find myself doing more of the support.
After all, I’m the strong one, right?
And then there are the people who I call friends, but they hold themselves back from the relationship. They bemoan themselves because they are not as smart as me. Or I must think how stupid they are. Or they scored 115 on a silly online IQ test, when I scored 140. Or whatever other excuse they find to belittle themselves or idolize me.
Look, stop worrying about me and start living. If you know who you are, and you hold true to your beliefs and values, you will attract and surround yourself with people of similiar thought.
Yes, I am lonely.
Yes, I am scared that I will always be alone.
But, that is no reason to stop living my life or trying to live for someone else.
I am here. I am going to live. And being alone is not going to stop me from acheiving my goals or being happy.