Yes, yes, I know. What has come over me. No, I’m not sick. No, I’m not crazy. I just felt like turning on the television.
Even more, I spent the evening watch a couple of programs on TLC on beauty.
It goes hand in hand with some conversations I’ve had with someone people I recently met at a weekend class.
One of the women I was speaking with was telling me some interesting stories. First, about herself. She was attractive, not over weight, lively, and had a sharp mind. However, she didn’t seem to agree on all of those. She seemed content, but she hinted that she still felt overweight and she still felt not as attractive as she could be. Bleah.
Even worse, she apparently has a cousin who is gorgeous. She is apparently a “nordic goddess.” However, this cousin is insane about it. She persists that a pinch of fat is too much. Guh.
Before I tackle that, though, I want to talk about these programs a little bit. They covered pretty much only physical characteristic. What is “attractive” to different society. What physical characteristics are more likely to attract people in a western culture. And… surprise, surprise, it was mainly oriented on beauty in women.
Beauty is something sorely misrepresented, sorely abused, and something that can hurt and destroy people.
First, and foremost, the cliched “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” I do not think I am attractive. I am again and again astounded at being proven wrong by specific people. But I also know people who would agree, and have, with me. It depends on which characteristic really matter to you.
Hand in hand with that, people forget beliefs, values, personality, etc. In essence, the person. An athletic star, a pretty smile, big beautiful eyes, or whatever else may come into play… will only go so far. Unless that is all that matters to you… and maybe you should stop and look at yourself and your beliefs if that is the case. There is much more to a person than their physical characteristics. Our connection with people goes far beyond simple mating instincs now. We are in a precarious balance, where we are still driven by certain desires. But, with that, we have mental needs and connections. Many people will have purely physical relationships, or relationships that start of purely physical desires, and find empty, sad relationships. They’re unhappy, frustrated, and they don’t know why.
You are not just your bust. You are not just your ass. You are not just your smile. There is much more to a person. And there is much more needed in our relationships.
Don’t discount the physical… we all have physical aspects that we find attractive… but do not over emphasis it.
If you are trying to dress and present yourself purely for the reason of attract someone to you… what you are doing is living for someone else. You are trying to tie your happiness to another person. And, in the end, that will never work.
Do not live for another person. Do not sacrifice yourself or your desires for anyone.
Live for yourself. Let your beauty be who you are, not what you have.
You do not need every person’s approval to be good. You only need yourself.