The communication between conceptual human beings is even more amazing. It is amazing because of how much can be communicated, how much can be taught (and learned), how much can be passed on…
And how much can be absolutetly screwed up.
There is this saying that has been chanted:
The only dumb question is the one not asked.
Well, I’m going to put a stop to this silliness right now. The spirit behind this bromide is good: if you do not understand something, then ask questions to clarify. And that is part of communication. Communication is not a one way act. If you, as a receiver, do not understand something, you should always ask for clarification. While the burden is on the communicator to get his or her message across, it is also the receiver’s responsability to try … if they are dedicated to the communication.
However, there is a point when a there can be either too many questions or a question that is not necessary. Some very good speakers, presenters, and teachers can be hampered by the fact that they are neat, clean, and efficient. They can get everything across in one or two sentences. I am continually astounded, though, when the next ten minutes are spent asking questions that were answered in the one or two senteces.
Example:
“In this class, we are going to have name plates. They need to have your first and last name on them. My suggestion is to cut a manilla folder. They cannot be any larger than this size (shows an example), but I have had huge elaborate ones in the past. You will be moving around a lot, getting into groups, etc. and we should all be able to know who each other is. Do NOT use a piece of paper, it must be something sturder that can sit upright on your desktop. You need to have these ready by the next class session.”
“Where do we get them?”
“You can cut up a manilla folder, or use something otherwise as sturdy.”
“What about that one you have?”
“This is my example.”
“But, can we use it?”
“No, this is my example.”
“Can we use business cards?”
“No, it needs to be big enough to sit on the desk and for people to see.”
“What has to be on it?”
“Your name.”
“Just your first?”
“No, your first and last.”
“Psst.. what is she holding in her hand and waving about?”
SIGH.
The point is… you need to listen. We, as speakers, need to have adequate speaking skill, presence, vocabulary, etc. But, as listeners, we also need to listen. Many people do not, or will not, understand this simple fact. They get confused, frustrated, angry, etc. and have no clue why.
Why don’t you get it?!
Because you did not listen!
It is more than necessary to ask questions to clarify. And I highly suggest that you do… not enough people are willing to do that. However, make sure you’ve taken some time to actually listen, first.