I hate getting passed a message that someone has a problem with me. It makes me feel like I’m being talked about behind my back. I know that this is going to happen, regardless, but it still comes as a smack in the face. What gets me even more is when I am told the same thing by multiple people. Then I feel as if the squadron was sent in and the masses will take me down. Kinda extreme, but still, that’s how it feels. I know that I mess up sometimes, and I have no problem having my faults being pointed out to me; my problem is with people that won’t come to me with what they have to say.
When you have to find out from someone else that there is something you need to work on in a separate relationship, there is another problem: lack of communication. I don’t know about everyone else, but I tend to feel a bit attacked when confronted by someone with another’s issues with me. The intent may not be to hurt my feelings, but the result is the same. This is kind of personal, I know, but it’s what’s on my mind right now. I cannot stand to have all of my friends letting me know that another friend is upset at me. I would like to think that I am approachable enough to have differences worked out as if I were an adult in a friendship with another adult, because, frankly, that’s how it is.
If you can’t bring everything to the table, there is another greater problem: trust. I’ve learned that in my life, if I can’t communicate fully with someone, it more than likely is an issue with trust; I couldn’t trust the person to be respectful, or to understand what I am saying, or to honestly express their views. When others won’t communicate with me, it makes me feel as if they don’t trust me, and it hurts.
So if you just want to let me know… don’t, because I’d rather hear it from the source. And yes, I am going to be speaking with the person who inspired this little outburst.