I bring to you words of wisdom, words of wonder, and words from the very pain of my soul. I am lost, but you, oh you who would listen, you can be free of that maze. If only you listen.
The first is just that. Listen. Learn. Don’t be closed or empty to the world around you. Every experience brings with it a lesson–don’t learn those lessons too late. I have lost many, many things because of lessons I have not learned. Things I can never have back. Things that I will never see again.
Friendships. Love. Hate. More things that I care to count. And so have many around me.
In fact, I offer no other lessons that to listen and to learn. Not to my words, as much as to your own experiences and your own mind.
If there is anyything–anything– you learn from me. Learn to trust yourself. You and I.. we are good, smart, RATIONAL people.. and we don’t feel things just because. We don’t just rationalize things–unless we think we are and then we are trying to rationalize something else. Follow yourself. Follow what you believe. If you think a situation is sour.. it’s sour. If you’re attracted to someone. Toss aside these social games. Throw away these rules of ettiqute. If someone doesn’t appreciate it.. someone else will. But we waste our time, our emotions, and our small life on trying to not be who we are. I would like to share with you a poem I wrote this evening… everybody seems to love my poetry, so let’s see… Last night, I had an experience that reawoke me. I have sheltered myself again. I babystep into the world because I have been knocked down and battered too many times. But the shelter I have created for myself is only hurting me, and those I care about, more. And it will only hurt you.
“Forsaken”
Broken tears
Shattered dreams
A lonely existence
My only comfort
Is knowing the pain
Will always stay
I have never learned
Those vital lessons
The ways of the dance
A courtship for love
Filled with daggers and sugars
And poisons and spice
From fear of being yourself
And alone I shall remain
Used by all of those
Lost in their comfortable fantasies
Unable to meet the needs
Because I’ve never seen
And barred for asking questions
Forbidden to know
How can I grow
If the only teacher refuses
But at least I am a friend
And always will be
Even to my desolate lovers
For we all needs friends
Even if mine forsake me
When I need them the most.
I’m sorry I asked questions. I’m sorry I don’t have all the answers. I’m sorry that I’ve been hurt. And I’m sorry that makes me reserved.
But I’m not sorry about who I am. I’m not sorry about what I’ve done. I’m not sorry for trying. And I definitely am not sorry that I care, only sorry that it got me hurt. Like always.