We, as people, humans, friends, lovers, enemies, conceptual beings, are killing ourselves above and beyond anything else by our inability to stop… and listen.
And I am not talking about hearing. Hearing and listening are two different things. Listening is active, participatory.. and volitional. You have to want to do it.
I am a firm believer that people need to know their beliefs and values. You need to know what you think and why you think it. Part of that experience, as being a conceptual human being, as being a person, is to communicate with other people. The very reason I started this community is for that purpose. The more you are exposed to ideas and beliefs, the better you understand your own. The more you need to voice what you think, the better you learn what you really believe–and how to say it.
Many people ask me how I am able to voice my beliefs so well… how do I write so well.. how do I do it?!
The answer is: I do it. Do you think I was born with the ability? Do you think I woke up one day and said, “Oh, look, I can express myself!” No, I woke up one day and said, “I know there is something wrong with world and with the beliefs I am presented… I’m going to find out why.” I read books, I talked to people, I hunted for what I believed. And I started to find it. I’m not anywhere near done yet, and will most likely never be.
We never stop learning and growing.
One of the most important parts of this, in my opinion, is venting. Venting is something often overlooked, misunderstood, and often even hated. And here is where we also get back to listening.
Just what is venting? Venting is a tool used by people (or, perhaps, often misabused) to help figure out what you believer and why you believe it. We all need to vent. Aside from the aspect of just getting out the raw emotions–generally hate, angst, etc.–it also helps us better understand who we are and what we believe. When we get upset, we can say some stupid things. And most of the time, we know this. But you need a person to vent on. Sometimes it can be expressed in other ways (writing, art, breaking things, etc.), but talking to a person has the best effect. Because you have all these ideas rattling around in your head… and until you say them, you don’t always know what you really believe.
What saddens me is the inability of a lot of people to listen to venting though. People want to criticize, attack, or toss aside someone’s venting.
“Oh you’re just upset..”
“How can you say that?!”
“That’s just STUPID!
… and that is not the point of venting. Venting gets out all of those crazy ideas. Venting is not a sessions to say “Hey, critic my beliefs!” … It is rather, the time to just gush. And when I refer to venting, I do not just mean being angry and loud. You can be hurt and depressed. Venting is just getting out. Saying what you think you feel and trying to interpret it.
And what a person who venting needs most, is someone to listen. And you know what the best part is? The person listening gets to grow, too. Because they can see how they feel about what is being said… with the understanding that person saying it is just trying to sort through it as much as they are. You’re not always going to be able to express how you think or what you feel.. you’re not always going to make it sound good or beautiful (perhaps this rant is a case?), but you’ll never be able to if you don’t try. I did not understand myself from sitting around and hopeing it would happen… I talked, I listened, and I vented. And I learned the most in the order of: listening, venting, and talking. And I still have a lot to learn, as do we all. But we’ve got to try. And we’ve got get it out. Go ahead, vent, it’s healthy. Just remember that it is a tool to discover yourself… and help yourself and your friends use it.