Last night, my History of Chrisianity class was canceled and I tried to pull together an impromptu study group. It actually worked out decently well, but the best part (as it always seems to be) was the side conversation.
Several times, we digressed into good topics, but the topic that came up the most (as has been haunting me the last several weeks) is relationships.
I feel that I might have made a slight fool of myself, but I’ll go into again, anyways. You see, these last couple of days I have dipped into my “oh, I feel so lonely” phase again. Which, as it always is, quite ridiculous.
It started with a dream. It is a very simple dream. I was staying at someone’s house, perhaps a huge house or mansion. I walked into my room. There was my bed and then a pile of blankets and pillows on the floor that I knew to be the sleeping place of the person I shared the room with. She was actually, though, laying on the bed. When I came into the room, she started to get ready to move down, and I said “No, let’s snuggle together tonight.”
And she agreed.
I woke from that dream and have been kind of trudging along since then. That is actually the night I woke up and wrote The Reaper Man at like 4 am. I had just woken up from that dream and could not get back to sleep.
Now, I also want to stipulate that I do not normally feel so lonely. And I do not get down about it. Feeling it and wallowing in it are two different things. I use all of my emotions as power, not as weakness. But, I am feeling it more than normal right now … and not only is that okay, but it is okay to share that. At least with those who are good friends. Or, uhm, anyone who reads your website?
Anyways, that not really the point of all this. I actually brought this up to the two people who came over for the study group, and it felt very good. Like I said, I probably made myself a bit the fool, but I am glad that I know people who I can share and express a bit of who I am with. I have never been one to care much about the judgements of others, but I’ve never denied that it does feel good for people to listen and share themselves.
I have decided, in wake of all of the realtionship hoopla that has been going on the last couple of weeks to dedicated next week as “Relationship” week. I’ll come up with some neato slogan, but the idea just occured to me, so I’ll have to figure out what to do.
I will gladly accept (as always!) articles from anyone on the topic, so please submit some articles! I plan on having at least one article a day, but if I get more, we’ll have more!
So, yeah, I’m feeling a bit more lonely that I normally do. But, like I said, so what? I’ve got some damned good friends (some of whom I have only met recently, but I’m still thankful) and I don’t plan on wasting them.