“You know, Ann, you should wash you car. You can do it for free at a lot of gas stations.“
“You really should smile more, Ann.“
And more, those these were the two most discussed points. However, as I thought about it over the weekend, I came to realize how much people talk to her like that. Morever, I realized how some people talk to me like this. I know from Tara’s rant, she’s experienced the same.
I realized how much this drives me crazy.
See, as disorganized and unfocused as most people might be, they still know how they want to live. Whether they know WHY or not.. whether it may be ‘right’ or not… These are other issues. Ann still knows that she doesn’t want to wash her car, for whatever reason. It is not that she just has not noticed that it’s dirty… She’s not blind.
And we are not the light.
So, let’s stop evangelizing like that. There is a difference between expressing a point of view, or perhaps even asking a questions: “I’m sorry if you get this question a lot, but why do you not wash your car?” then saying “Hey, idiot, real people wash their car.“
It is different to state your opions and beliefs on a website, let’s say, than saying to a person directly, “Hey, change this because I said so.” Because, direct with a person, you have conversations. You have respect.
Telling someone that they need to do something, such as smile more (Ann gets harped on this a LOT. Funny, I see her smile plenty… and call me egotistical, but maybe it is because we actually have some fun together. Maybe we have some mutual respect instead of me thinking she needs to smile ‘and be pretty’ for me. Maybe.) is nothing but offensive.