I am a person that many people confide in. I am the crying shoulder. I am the pillar of stability. I am the listening ear.
I hear a lot of problems and I hear a lot of very, very sad stories. But, I also help people. Listening is a very powerful tool because talking is a very powerful tool. More over, releasing pent up energies and emotions is a powerful tool, and that is why being able to listen is important. Being able to be the focus of that released energy.
I have come to notice a pattern, though, in many of the self perceptions I hear. First, most (if not almost all?) of the people I have listened and talked to tell me of low self worth and great self hate/resentment.
When I query this further, I get a pattern of very typical thoughts. Almost always first is physical appearance. And then, generally, acceptance by society. (The need to be social, the need for attention, the need for validation). And then comes issues about the person’s owns ability, their abilities compared to others. And then things they would like to do, but will not let themselves. Or things they do but they do not feel good about doing. And more…
And I had a thought tonight. I believe that this downward, black spiral of self hate and doubt that people put themselves through is very indicative of the application of our societies philosophy’s and ideals put to use. We do not preach self worth, we preach self doubt and loathing (In fact, we preach, and that may be a problem in and of itself). We do not teach our children about the world, we attempt to close them off from it and hope they do not find it (and, more likely that not, it finds them and they are not ready for it). We do not teach love, we teach unreachable ideals of a mystic force and a white wedding. We try to hide and cover our bodies, afraid as to what we may discover (that we like them?)
Why is everything so bad? Why do people rob from each other? Why do people kill each other? Why is economy suffering? How could our choices for president be Bush and Gore? And on and on… Because we allowed it. We took accountability, accountability of our own actions, and threw it out the door. We have taken a hodge-podge of ideas and beliefs and made a bastardized system of thought that only destroys. It only brings people. We have the framework for a glorious situation. Freedom! Personal gain! Rights!
And we have covered it with the same backwards and oppressive measures that have held humanity down throughout the centuries.
I hate conformity for conformity’s sake.
I hate rebellion for rebellion’s sake.
I hate hate for hate’s sake.
I hate consumption for consumption’s sake.
And…
I hate freedom for freedom’s sake.
Freedom is a volitional act–it only happens if you let it.