Uncouth PerspectivesNot on the rug, man.

I like giving gifts.

I do not like giving them on prescribed days.

At least, I do not like giving them on prescribed days for the sheer sake of the day. There is the obvious reason–the gross commercialism. Do I really need to rehash that obvious and tired (though not any less true) argument? There’s also something kind of dirty about the expectation. It is one thing for a person to know they are getting a gift and being excited. But it’s an entirely different thing when someone assumes, if not demands, a gift for no good reason but tradition says to do it–and it goes from dirty to disgusting if they get mad when you do not give them something.

But, now, giving a gift because you want to give a gift. That’s awesome. Or giving a gift because someone has done something and you want to tell them thanks, or how much you appreciate it, or whatever, that is cool. Or telling someone you’ve gotten them a gift and watching them squirm with anticipation… priceless.

I have talked about this before, but one of the things I do not understand is the idea that if someone gives you a gift, you must reciprocate. There is this kind of spiral of guilt that can begin with a single gift. In my EVER so humble opinion, real gifts do not require reciprocation. If the receiver wants to reciprocate, have a blast. But, again, it’s the expectation where things become problematic.

Although, I can imagine that if I wanted to create waves of havoc, I could start a gift reciprocation circle of DOOM. Here’s how it works. I give three or four people small trinkets. They respond with something better because, obviously, if you’re going to reciprocate, you must also better the person (nothing like a competition when giving gifts). Then I take the gifts I get back and give them to the other people. Maybe find three or four other people to give small gifts too. Then I just keep swapping back and forth until someone gives me a private island with a lemur and a turtle on it.

How I hate thee. Let me count the ways.

Well, before I do that, let me take a moment to explain. I think it has been a while.

I am not the type of person who gets the typical holiday blues (well, typical for those who get it). Honestly, I couldn’t quite tell you what the “typical” holiday blues are, but I imagine they have something to do with a lot of alcohol, shouting obscenities late at night, a black eye, and probably some jail time. My assumption is that a lot of people are really just unhappy and the holidays just give them that extra nudge over the precipice.

For me, the “holidays” represent a lot of things that I do not really like about people and society. I mean, really, are you telling me that we have to take a moment each year and say “Hey, maybe you should be nice?” Joy to the world and all that sham. I guess it’s much easier to be amenable to sitting next to the fire and not fighting when it is freezing outside. The point is that there are many supposed ideals which are highlighted at this time that I believe if people took truly to heart would be things that they believed in, well, all the time. I do not think there is necessarily anything wrong with taking a moment to highlight certain things to get people thinking about them, but I really feel a lot of the marketed holidays are just shams.

Maybe it’s the consumerism associated with them. The gift giving just makes me sick. It is not that I am against giving gifts. I love giving gifts. The issue for me is being told / expected to give gifts. I can no longer count the number of times that throughout the year, I have given someone a gift because I genuinely wanted to (“Hey, you did something to remind me what a great friend you are and I wanted to say thanks”, “Hey, I found [X] which I though you would really like and here it is!”, etc.) but failed to do so at an alloted time and had an eye of ire turned on me. Not cool.

I was talking with a friend about this who noted that some people feel uncomfortable with getting gifts at unexpected times–it is easier to give them at expected times because people understand how to deal with it. I guess. The problem, in my mind, is that this highlights a bigger problem with our society at large. One of the things also discussed in our conversation is that people also feel the need to reciprocate, especially for unexpected gifts. I do not know if I agree with that, but if it is the case, I think with time individual people can learn to deal with individual gifts. Especially if you make it clear that there is not an expectation of return. But, in my mind, you can generally point to something and say “Hey, THAT’s why I am giving you the gift. Don’t give me anything back. DEAL.” If they truly feel like they have to give you something back then, well, be thankful as well.

And no, you jackass, I do not mean I am convinced they do not exist.

I mean, I do not think you need a day to make something special which SHOULD be special all the time. Celebration is one thing, but so many people take the spirit of the “holidays” (whichever one it may be) and run it through a filter. Then, they take the good stuff left over and throw it away and frolic down the lane with the bad goo in the filter.

A proof: yesterday was Valentine’s day. I went to work and first thing walking into the building I was attacked by flowers and candy and people eyeing and comparing their gifts. It is this end bit that gets me (I really want to say “this latter bit” but I’ve been told this is improper unless you are only comparing two items. That makes me sad.)

Laaaaame.

So, I worked through the day blissfully unaware of the so-called importance of the day. Aside from the sick rituals of forced-giving and then status comparison by the recipients, I did not even have to realize what day it was.

My night was simple, having been planned out long in advance. Ate dinner at The Olde Ship [theoldeship.com]. Then went and saw ICP [insaneclownposse.com] at the Grove in Anaheim. Then hung out and got some more food a little later. Took a shower, went to bed.

Woke up at 5pm today.

A DAMN fine day, in my book. And not because of the title of the day, but because the day was good. Was it nice that it happened on Valentine’s day? Sure. But, what makes me happy, the day could have been ANY day.

Any that is what is important.

You bet.

As normal, it’s going to be kind of short and sweet, but…

Holiday’s are stupid.

We should not need nor have nor subject ourselves to one day wherein we “celebrate” something more than another day in a set pattern. I am not saying to not celebrate things. I am not saying do not celebrate your mother. Or your birthday or whatever it might be.

What I am saying is do it because you want to do it, not because an economy tells you to. Do it when you want to do it, don’t do it on a prearranged day.

People start to feel forced into doing and, conversely, people start to expect it. I like to give gifts because I want to give a gift or because, as it my gift giving style, I see something that I know the other person would just love.

I, again, am not saying don’t celebrate something. I am saying do it when, where, how, and whatever you want. Not because it’s been prearranged on a stupid day.