I need to use my journal again.

Today was a bad day. Maybe more of a unexpectedly rotten day.

For those who actually read this (I know there are one or two of you out there!) I do not think this is going to be much a rant. In fact, I can guarantee it. This is definitely going to be a introspective ramble. So, if you do not want to read an introspective ramble, I would stop reading.

It hurts me to see the people I care about have low self worth. They exhibit it in many ways. I care deeply about my friends, in fact about people in general, and when those I care about, people I know who are good people, talk about how rotten they are and how they are going to go anti-social because they are not a good person, it really upsets me. I think the proof in being a good person is that realization that the things you do CAN hurt other people and a willingness to try and change. Whatever.

Also, friends who get defensive when you talk to them. I can talk to some of my friends in a positive manner as much as I want. I can speak critically of other people and other things and I will get praised for ability at objectivity and my ability to get to the core of a problem and find a solution. And then when I try and talk to them about something, I get ridiculed and verbally abused. Everyone will get defensive to a certain extent, sure, but there is a limit. Especially when the person who is trying to HELP is a person who is reknown for their ability to think critically, objectively, and solution-oriented. I may not always be right, but when I say something I tend to not just be blowing smoke.

And people who do not say hello back still piss me off.
I think my day was “rotten” because it actually had a lot of highs and lows. Something really good happened. Something really bad happened. Something really good happened. Something really bad happened. And on and on and on.

I think I am also feeling particularly lonely tonight. Not just in a “I don’t have a partner/girlfriend/whatever” sort of way, but also in a “I need someone to sit over hot chocolate or coffee and talk with.”

I finally started reading The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy after all these years. I finished the first book. What the HELL was I thinking waiting this long?!

At least I can say I’m still happy. Being happy does not mean you do not have lows. It actually makes the lows more important.