Uncouth PerspectivesNot on the rug, man.

So I helped a friend move today.

Actually, I really helped a friend of a friend move today because I have only met the person I moved once before and that was last Monday.

Between being a fairly large (6’5″), “oh, he looks like he’d like to carry my solid oak desk by himself” person (of course the irony being I sit behind a computer all day) and the fact that I drove a truck for several years, I have moved a lot of people. I am not here to complain about moving people, though that might be different if I still had a truck (Note: someone with a truck does not automagically make them an interested moving service).

One of the things that moving day always highlights for me is how people utilize tools. Typically when you move, there is always at least a dolly or some other mechanical device designed to make moving things from point A to B easier. When you use them right. There is always an adventure when someone looks at something large and ungainly and says “You know, I bet we can put that on the dolly.” It’s been my experience that those words are definitely listed under “Famous Last Words.”

Sometimes it is just easier to carry the things. Yeah, while I made the crack about sitting behind a computer, I am a pretty big guy and carrying things is easier for me. For people who are injured or some other way disabled, I am with ya. But there’s a point when using tools, in this case perhaps a dolly, it becomes not only a crutch but is actually a hindrance.

Perhaps not quite similar, but it also reminds me of a busy parking lot. What I typically see is a lot of people running around in circles trying desperately to get a spot up front. Me, I just drive towards the back, find an easy space to park in and walk to where I am going. No stress, easy parking, and I get exercise so Nyaaaah!

It is way too easy for a tool to become a crutch. Just look at calculators (I’m guilty). But it is also easy for tools to become hindrances. Hopefully you’ve noted that I am not really talking just about moving here. One of the wonderful things about the human mind is our ability to create and use tools to our advantage. Laziness, however, is also one of our claims to genetic fame. And I think it is such a shame when people hold themselves back by trying to take the “easy” way which turns out to be a dead-end.

So I have been trolling internet dating sites trying to get an idea of what people “out there” are looking for and how they sell themselves. It has been quite an interesting adventure.

For the most part, it is what I assumed. A lot of people, men and women, have very bland, shallow, and non-descriptive profiles. “Gosh, I’m just a down to earth [gender], who takes it easy and likes to have a good time! I’m looking for someone who is honest, funny, and no drama!” Tell me, really, who is not looking for these things? To me, that is one of the things that gets me every time I read this stuff. Do you really think it’s going to make a difference or, perhaps, net someone who you really want to meet?

The impression I get that people seem to go off the idea that pictures will sell everything. At least, that is the assumption I am making off of: 1) the lack of depth to profiles and 2) my cynical view of the unwashed masses. And I am sure that people go hunting profiles based off of this. Now, do not get me wrong. Physical attraction IS important–I mean, it is not really a relationship without that. But unless you really do want to just party and/or have sex, there really should be more to it than that

Trying to play devil’s advocate, the process of selling yourself like a piece of meat online is not necessarily comfortable or easy. If you commit to the process, you have to open yourself up a little bit (and, perhaps, have an understanding of yourself). And I think there can be a lot of better matching coming from something like that process . . . but so many people seem to move the club/bar/etc hook up to this arena and I think it shows. I do not think there is anything wrong with meeting people at the bar or club… I mean, it’s one reason to go to those places and, frankly, it is fun. But, at least from my perspective, meeting the “right” person in that setting takes a shit ton of luck.

Anyways, the thing that got me down this line of thought is that as I’ve read profiles, I have noticed a lot of women have added “good hygiene” to their list of qualities in the people they would like to meet.

Really?

And not really as in “you like hygiene?!” but really as in “you have to say that?” I really have to wonder what the guys out there are doing to make this an issue. It actually makes me wonder if I’ve got something going on I do not know about. I also wonder what this means. Is this like a “how often do you brush your teeth, ugh!” or a “could you shower after the game?” I play hockey and, honestly, that’s a gross sport. You sweat like crazy and you’ve got all kinds of padding to soak it up and keep it close to home for all time. I’m sure other sports are bad, too. But, yeah, I keep my stuff clean and I shower. Often.

It just really makes me wonder . . .

Britney’s Teen Sister Jamie Lynn Spears is Pregnant!

Okay. Let’s stop for a second.

Really? This is what is important?

When this “news” broke, it was the headline on most American news outlets. I was literally beat upside the head about it and I try to avoid “entertainment” news as much as I can, but this story seemed to be inescapable (and continues to be).

So a 16 year old girl got pregnant. Weeeeird. That never happens. Oh, wait, no, that’s right: it happens ALL the time. The shock and surprise is… really amazing. What I do not understand is what the shock is really about. I mean, is it because she a star? A “role” model? She meets the cookie cutter definition of attractive? Because her sister is falling apart and it is fun to watch the house continue to burn down?

It just makes me livid that it is such a big deal when it happens to this one person (they are talking about making a show about it already!). People need to open their eyes and wake up–our kids are having kids and the way we are dealing with it is only making it grow. We have a culture that has one part of it’s foundation in selling sex and another in repressing it. Kids are smart enough to realize how stupid the repression part is, too naive to understand the commercialization of sex, and rebellious enough not to listen by the time anyone starts talking to them (perhaps talking to them as a real person, too). A very fertile mix, it turns out.

With this and other such stories, I just get so angry when something which highlights the normal state of things happens and suddenly it’s a big deal–but instead of actually dealing with the problem, there is a knee jerk reaction to dealing with it which never works and no long term thinking happens. And, of course, it is then quickly forgotten. I already can not wait to be tired of seeing stories about how to deal with teenage pregnancy, and I already can not wait to be suddenly surprised when I stop seeing the stories.

I wrote this as an exercise in self exploration and have been butchering it to put in different profiles.  Enjoy: 

Does the turbulence ever upset you?

Life is a bumpy ride and I’m one cantankerous passenger.

I am thinker, leader, ranter, writer, actor. I am not interested in the status quo, I am interested in making things better. I struggle with the definition of normality, but what I know for sure that is it should not be complacency, laziness, or ignorance. I despise those who do not understand this. Individualism is being lost in a sea of selfish hedonism and the irony is almost too much to handle at times.

I have strong views which I enjoy sharing with anyone who will listen, but I do not believe on forcing those views on anyone. One of the best things in life is a good conversation. Or maybe a good debate. I am highly empathetic and other’s emotions can bowl me over like a steam roller. There are very few characteristics I appreciate more than a person who thinks.

I am not a fan of either/or, black/white type of thinking. I believe that one of the great things about life is the shades of grey which makes up the bulk of the human experience. It seems to be a natural process for the human mind to attempt to categorize things to make them better understandable–I will not attempt to deny that–but I think this can be overdone. My normal philosophical punching bag on this topic is stereotypes. I hate stereotypes. I think people can and should be judged as individuals.

I have been told in the past that I am “brutally honest.” I do not know if I agree with that, but I aim to be honest and straight forward. No time in life for playing games with people or being passive-aggressive. To that end, I can come off as arrogant and a know-it-all. I always have an answer and I am frustratingly right most of the time. I try to remember those can be bad things (but generally fail).

I’m a tech geek and a fantasy dork. I love technology in real life and play with it often. I love fantasy in my mindless reading and like to quietly pretend I would enjoy the life of a medieval assassin.

I typically dislike sports, but I discovered I really enjoy hockey. Not because there is fighting (there is not as much as you think). Not because it is brutal (it is not as brutal as you think it is). I enjoy hockey because it is: fast, highly skilled, and the true embodiment of a team effort. And, yeah, there is fighting and it is brutal.

I work, and work hard, but there is more to life than work. I play hockey. I have performed in a regular-running “Whose line is it anyways?” style improv show. I have a blog that I have been writing on for longer than some people have used the internet. I have owned my own business. I read more books on philosophy and religion than is probably healthy.

I find that the best way to approach life is a combination of humor, honesty, passion, just-enough-cynicism, and a level of intellectual analysis that would cause a psychologist to blush.

Are you ready to think?

…just be good?

Even though I’ve studied it quite a bit, I have never understood why people argue that morals cannot be exclusive from a god / religion / whatever. The same-old “atheists have no morals” rhetoric.

Perhaps it is because those who express these feelings cannot control themselves?

I have to admit that the idea of people who cannot control themselves or urges being a part of something that gives enough structure to control those urges has great appeal to me… because hopefully those urges will be controlled. But I really feel that it needs to be something: a) substantative and b) not as bad or worse than the “urge.”

Also, one of the biggest problems is that the people who DO successful commit to something which makes their lives better or “beats the urge,” then often they try to push this on other people and/or when faces with an argument against the belief, they react poorly or violently. This is because the belief is more important in it’s ability to defeat the urge than in and of itself.

Take, for example, religion as the belief in this role. I’ve had great conversations with people who do not share the same religious beliefs as myself. Take, as another example, my doctor. My doctor is a very devout Christian and we have had very good discussions about religion. I don’t trust my life any less to him (…i hope) and we can have a very rational, friendly dialogue. But this is not always the case.

It is my theory that one of the greatest things in the way of pluralistic dialogue is the fact that many individuals belief is not based on the belief, in and of itself, but other factors, such as the belief acting as an agent against an urge or that “this is what the family believes so it’s what I believe.” The biggest problem with this is that when faced with challenges to the belief, even in casual dialogue, it’s hard for an individual to face disparate arguments.

It’s important to understand this. There are some people who you can be frank and open with, some you need to be more careful in how things are worded, and some who conversation may simply not be possible

I am going to file this under “What the hell?”

http://www.kctv5.com/news/14034556/detail.html

A small bookstore in Kansas City burned thousands of books. The primary reason for this seems to be that they simply have too many books and people will not take them. However, the owner has been quoted as saying the wants to talk about the declining in reading.

“We hope to spark a conversation about the importance of books in the
face of a marked shrinking in reading trends, and staggering waste
streams of actual books,” said Prospero’s Books owner, Tom Wayne.

I have to admit that I am torn on the idea of declining readership. I will not argue that people are reading less and that this is being supplanted by other forms of media (video, music, TV, etc). What I am not convinced of is that the internet and technology is part of that. If you want to talk about how the children don’t know a good story because they only have enough attention to watch an ad on TV, I’m with ya. Do not even get me started on the quality of a lot of the media out there. But looking all the forms of media (if you were include books in this category), I just think there are more forms of literary competition for books (take for example, a complete shot in the dark, blogs and blog readership).

I’m a old-fashioned reader in these enlightened days. I like to take a good book and a warm drink and snuggle up until I fall asleep. Hell, I have a reading chair. I cannot soak my stories in over the dull refresh rate of a monitor (much to the anger of my wife when she’s trying to get me to read a story she’s written). But I am not going to be so dense as to suggest that it’s not possible or worthwhile to get quality online or in digital form. I know many people who do their reading online and, well, more power to them.

Another important fact is that, in whatever form you are talking about, there is a lot.. a LOT.. of crap. And there are a lot of crap books. Whether we’re talking about the latest serial romance novel (Does my bias on things ever show through?) or the latest “how to feed your employees cheese and make money!” book. So just because I’m not reading your crap book does not mean I’m not reading.

I just have a hard time believing that we are in the dark days of literacy. I find it more likely that things are general the same as they’ve been. The intellectual elite read. Those who are interested read. The “masses,” in whatever their form, find easy and simple ways to be entertained, which may or may not involve reading. Some people just do not want to read.

I’m not going to say which class I fall into, but suffice to say I’ve a story about an assassin and his pet dragon calling my name.

Technorati Tags: books internet reading

Very interesting case in the Sixth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals…don’t be surprised is this one go to the U.S. Supreme Court.

From the decision:

“In considering the factors for a preliminary injunction, the district court reasoned that e-mails held by an ISP were roughly analogous to sealed letters, in which the sender maintains an expectation of privacy. This privacy interest requires that law enforcement officials warrant, based on a showing of probable cause, as a prerequisite to a search of the e-mails.”

From an article:

A federal appeals court on Monday issued a landmark decision (.pdf) that holds that e-mail has similar constitutional privacy protections as telephone communications, meaning that federal investigators who search and seize emails without obtaining probable cause warrants will now have to do so.

“This decision is of inestimable importance in a world where most of us have webmail accounts,” said Kevin Bankston, a staff attorney for the Electronic Frontier Foundation.

The ruling by the Sixth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Ohio upheld a lower court ruling that placed a temporary injunction on e-mail searches in a fraud investigation against Steven Warshak, who runs a supplements company best known for a male enhancement product called Enzyte. Warshak hawks Enzyte using “Smiling Bob” ads that have gained some notoriety.

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This may be a repeat, but I want to rant a little about labels in general. I hinted at some thoughts yesterday, but it’s been a while since I’ve talked about it, so perhaps it is time for a refresher.

I hate labels. I hate stereotypes. I had anything that predispositions a person towards something else, especially if it is another person. A person should be judged as a person, as an individual, not by his or her specific race, nationality, etc. This is not simply anti-descrimination rhetoric. This is the simple truth that all too often on a person-to-person level, people pre-judge because of meaningless and trite things.

Yesterday, I said that I might be labeled as a “compassionate atheist moderate conservative”. Two of those labels are almost ANTI labels. If you break it apart, it is really “compassionate atheist” and “moderate conservative”. In addition, we might add “atheist conservative”. You see, when someone announces they are a conservative, the stereotype associated with it is a radical religious “right-winger” … so it need to be quailified.. I am neither radical nor religious. But THAT needs qualifying, because the stereotype associated with atheist is huuuuuuge.

I can’t avoid acknowledging that they exist. At one point in my life, I tried. I wouldn’t even respond to certain words or phrases. But, that is simply ridiculous. Someone (or perhaps many people) once argued that it is human nature to categorize things. I spent a lot of energy arguing against that viewpoint… but I have perhaps a better answer to it now: who cares?

I mean really, so what if it is natural to categorize things, even humans based off of traits? What I care about is how an individual judges another individual. I don’t care if you think that all poor people are just lazy leeches… if you genuinely interact with poor people, you will find one (and more than one!) that is not. And if you think that all right people are insensitive, money-grubbers.. again, if you genuinely interact with rich people, you will find one (and more than one!) that is not.

So what it comes down to for me is not wether or not it is human nature to categorize things. What is comes down to is that it is a learned behavior to pre-judge an individual because of some lame categorization.

And a bad one at that.

And no, you jackass, I do not mean I am convinced they do not exist.

I mean, I do not think you need a day to make something special which SHOULD be special all the time. Celebration is one thing, but so many people take the spirit of the “holidays” (whichever one it may be) and run it through a filter. Then, they take the good stuff left over and throw it away and frolic down the lane with the bad goo in the filter.

A proof: yesterday was Valentine’s day. I went to work and first thing walking into the building I was attacked by flowers and candy and people eyeing and comparing their gifts. It is this end bit that gets me (I really want to say “this latter bit” but I’ve been told this is improper unless you are only comparing two items. That makes me sad.)

Laaaaame.

So, I worked through the day blissfully unaware of the so-called importance of the day. Aside from the sick rituals of forced-giving and then status comparison by the recipients, I did not even have to realize what day it was.

My night was simple, having been planned out long in advance. Ate dinner at The Olde Ship [theoldeship.com]. Then went and saw ICP [insaneclownposse.com] at the Grove in Anaheim. Then hung out and got some more food a little later. Took a shower, went to bed.

Woke up at 5pm today.

A DAMN fine day, in my book. And not because of the title of the day, but because the day was good. Was it nice that it happened on Valentine’s day? Sure. But, what makes me happy, the day could have been ANY day.

Any that is what is important.

You bet.

As normal, it’s going to be kind of short and sweet, but…

Holiday’s are stupid.

We should not need nor have nor subject ourselves to one day wherein we “celebrate” something more than another day in a set pattern. I am not saying to not celebrate things. I am not saying do not celebrate your mother. Or your birthday or whatever it might be.

What I am saying is do it because you want to do it, not because an economy tells you to. Do it when you want to do it, don’t do it on a prearranged day.

People start to feel forced into doing and, conversely, people start to expect it. I like to give gifts because I want to give a gift or because, as it my gift giving style, I see something that I know the other person would just love.

I, again, am not saying don’t celebrate something. I am saying do it when, where, how, and whatever you want. Not because it’s been prearranged on a stupid day.